April 27, 2012 08:29:39am
Re: attn: DeadRed1971
This is from Bill Simmons latest mailbag. It is all very funny until he points out that Boston has its own "Castro."
Q: Any chance we can get Bobby V. to make some pro-Castro comments sometime soon?
— @sethrobbins77 (via twitter)
SG: Good one. You got me thinking about Boston's equivalent sore spot to pro-Castro comments in Miami — what's the one thing Bobby V could say that would potentially get him driven out of town?
It could go one of two routes. Either he'd have to make the following 10 points in the SAME interview …
"I've managed in New York and I've managed in Boston … New York just has better and more sophisticated fans. It's a fact."
"I have to admit, it's weird to be managing in Boston given that I believe Magic was better than Bird, Gretzky was better than Orr, Kiss was better than Aerosmith, DiMaggio was better than Williams, and Manhattan clam chowder was better than that creamy white sludge they serve here. I even think Fire Island is better than Provincetown. Again, it's just weird that I ended up here."
"I've been a fan of Eli Manning's game for a long time — those boys will go down as one of the best teams ever in any sport."
"What's up with the goofy accents here? These people sound like reeee-tahds. [Long laugh.]"
"I can't believe how much they worship the Kennedys around here. Don't they realize that JFK was the most overrated American president ever? Oh, and nice job pretending that Chappaquiddick never happened, EVERYBODY."
"I can't believe how much Dennis & Callahan's political views echo my own."
"Irish people are fat, freckled, drunken morons. And always have been, by the way."
"Kevin Youkilis isn't as physically and emotionally into the game."
"I agree with Luke Scott — Fenway is a dump and they should have torn it down 20 years ago."
"Sam Adams tastes like elephant piss and Dunkin' Donuts coffee tastes like elephant shit. Sometimes I like to drink them both at once just to see how fast I can throw up."
He'd have to answer a question about Boston's busing riots in 1974 by saying something like, "I know that stuff happened almost 40 years ago, but I don't care — I'll always believe Boston is a racist city and you'll never be able to tell me differently." Every city has one sore spot. For Miami, it's Castro. For Boston, it's the racism thing.